Agonizing Sin

What is one to believe about sin in the life of a Christian?

When we sin after we have become born-again believers, what happens? Some denominations claim that once you have become a child of God, that status can never be revoked. Some say that once you are saved, that same salvation covers all of your future sins. Yet others claim that each sin you commit after having been initially converted requires you to once again repent and be baptized, for you have become unworthy once again. Still others claim that a return to sin is tantamount to falling away, and that there is no hope of redemption a second time. And some say that if you find yourself sinning after salvation, you should examine yourself, because that initial experience you had couldn’t have been salvation at all: you only thought you were saved.

So… what is one to believe about sin in the life of a Christian?

Honestly, it’s a complex question. The most obvious, simplest answer is that sin in the life of a Christian is bad. It’s an unacceptable hypocrisy. It’s like trampling the Son of God underfoot and crucifying Him all over again. The problem is not with describing the sin. Sin is always bad. Always evil. Remember, even if you are guilty of only the tiniest little detail of the law, God considers you to be guilty of the entire law. God takes sin seriously, and so should we.

But we know that we’re not perfect. We’re going to mess up. Therein lies the problem.

Before continuing this essay, you might want to refresh your memory of the book of Hebrews, chapter 10. Or if time is short, let us dive right in, beginning at verse 26…

“For if we sin willfully after we have received the knowledge of the truth, there no longer remains a sacrifice for sins, but a certain fearful expectation of judgment, and fiery indignation which will devour the adversaries. Anyone who has rejected Moses’ law dies without mercy on the testimony of two or three witnesses. Of how much worse punishment, do you suppose, will he be thought worthy who has trampled the Son of God underfoot, counted the blood of the covenant by which he was sanctified a common thing, and insulted the Spirit of grace? For we know Him who said, “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,” says the Lord. And again, “The Lord will judge His people.” It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God.” (Hebrews 10: 26-31)

What are we to make of these verses? They seem to very strongly imply that the sins we commit after salvation are considered worthy of a punishment more severe than death. Certainly, something terrifying is deserved, and you are completely at God’s mercy if you find yourself in this situation. But this passage still doesn’t answer the question of what happens to us if we sin after salvation?

Or… does it?

Notice the first sentence, which says that what remains after a Christian willfully sins is a fearful expectation of judgment. Simply put, your conscience is going to bother you. And we’re not talking about a minor little, “oops I shouldn’t have done that,” moment (though those may come along, as well). But no, we are speaking of intentionally committed sins which you choose to partake in, even though you know they’re wrong. You’re going to be plagued by a creeping sense of doom that gnaws at you in the pit of your stomach. You may find yourself particularly critical of others who have been exposed as being guilty of this same sin. If you are able, you will almost certainly attempt to hide what you have done, as did Adam in the Garden of Eden. I heard a wise pastor once say that such things will destroy the joy of your salvation (see Psalm 51).

In many ways, a Christian who has fallen and become entrapped by sin mirrors the plight of an addict. You come to a point where you really don’t even enjoy the sin anymore, but you can’t resist the temptation of it when it calls. You hate the thing, but you just can’t break away from it. You don’t want to do it, or be associated with it at all, but you just can’t say no.

I will not presume to comment on whether or not salvation is a thing which can be lost or regained.. What I can tell you is that those verses from Hebrews are deadly serious, and not to be taken lightly. If you are a Christian, and you fall once again into a cycle of sin, you’re absolutely going to have a rough time of it.

But that’s actually a good thing.

See, if you have made a profession of faith as a Christian, yet are able to fall comfortably into sin without your conscience causing you agonizing, searing pain, then I do very much believe that you have mistaken an emotional experience for salvation. The fact that your conscience pains you is evidence of your prior salvation. Remember 1 John 3:9, where we are told that a child of God cannot continue in sin. One way or the other, God will put a stop to the sin in your life. Consider yourself fortunate if a guilty conscience is the worst of what comes your way.

Think of Job, a man who was, according to the Bible, walking in a manner which was pleasing to God. The trials which the Lord allowed to come upon Job were truly awful events. Imagine, as stated in the passage from Hebrews above, what God might put you through if you are an intentionally disobedient child. This is truly a situation to be feared.

We know that God judges His people, and that He chastises His children. God’s punishments are terrifying things to behold, but much worse to experience. The more stubbornly we hold on to whatever it is that separates us from the Lord, the more painful we make our own lives. Fortunately, we know that God will forgive, if we will only let go of the sin which separates us from Him.

And that, my friend, is what we shall explore in my next essay.