Jealousy vs Covetousness

Jealousy. Envy. Covetousness. These are terms which mean the same thing: to feel bitterness or hostility because someone else has something that you don’t. They are altogether unacceptable and bad. Right?

Well, sure, from a certain point of view. However, language is a tricky thing, and a fickle one at that. Today, jealousy in a relationship is typically seen as a sign of insecurity or weakness on the part of the one who is jealous. It’s often referred to as the green-eyed monster, and people who act jealously are often viewed as irrational. At least, that’s how the term is typically portrayed in pop culture. In reality, there are numerous shades of meaning which can turn jealousy into something that is not as bad as you may think it is, and, under the right circumstances, into a very good thing.

If you look inside a dictionary, you’re almost certain to notice that nearly every word has more than one definition. Words have multiple meanings, and determining the meaning of a specific word may require more context than the word itself. The word love is particularly malleable. You can love your spouse, love a puppy, love pizza, or love a TV show, but the word means vastly different things in each context. Likewise, the Bible’s use of the words jealousy and covetousness are more nuanced than many people take the time to understand.

Let’s begin with what it means to covet. The Bible is very clear that covetousness is a bad thing. The phrase “Thou shalt not covet” springs to mind (Exodus 20:17). In the tenth and final of the Ten Commandments, God tells us not to covet the things which rightly belong to other people. In this context, to covet means to feel a sense of bitterness or hostility toward someone because they have something which you do not.

This sounds remarkably like the modern definition of jealousy, and from a certain point of view, it is identical. Have you ever been mad at a coworker who got a promotion when you didn’t? Have you felt resentment because your neighbor got a new car, but you can’t afford one? These are classic examples of covetousness, and most today would use the word jealousy interchangeably here.

Note also that the commandment against covetousness was placed at the end of the list, when it could have been placed anywhere along the way. This is not by accident. In many Biblical lists, there are certain relationships between the first and last items. (For more on that topic, click HERE) There is indeed a special relationship between the First and Tenth Commandments.

The First establishes that God is our god, and we shall have no other gods before Him. The Tenth tells us that we are not to covet anything which belongs to our neighbor. It is not a large leap to realize that this also means that we should not covet the gods of our neighbors. There is no direct reference back to the First Commandment, but once you understand that Biblical lists typically have some type of special relationship between the first and last items, this extra bit of reinforcement of the First Commandment is revealed.

Not only does the final commandment underscore the first, the reverse is also true. We understand that if we covet that which belongs to another, we are not only lusting after that which we have no right to possess, but we are in effect mirroring the kind of behavior which would lead us to follow other gods. In both the First and Tenth Commandments, God is essentially telling us, “Hey! This thing (be it someone else’s ox, someone else’s wife, or someone else’s god) is not for you!” This placement mirrors the repeated truth that God is the first and the last, the alpha and omega.

We have established quite firmly that covetousness is bad. But what about jealousy? How can jealousy possibly be a good thing?

Recall that covetousness is defined as feeling resentment toward others because you want what is theirs, even though you have no right to own it. Jealousy, or at least Biblical jealousy as the word is commonly used in the King James Version, is understood to be a Godly jealousy; one that is protective of the things or people for whom we are responsible. This car? It’s mine, so I don’t want you to steal it. The book you borrowed? That’s mine, so please don’t damage it. The principle applies in relationships, as well. True, a marriage is not a state of one person owning another, but those two people are committed exclusively to each other. This is my wife, these are my children, and I will protect them with my very life.

Biblical jealousy is a very different thing from jealousy as the word is used in other contexts. Rather than being a negative, insecure, bitter thing, Godly jealousy is exclusively protective of those whom He loves. Every time the Bible mentions that God is a jealous god, it is referring to His protective nature and his promise to never leave us or forsake us.

As a side note: it is vital to understand that in the course of protecting someone or something from harm, it may be necessary to invoke acts of violence. In cases where the Bible mentions God’s jealousy along with His anger, it is important to remember that God’s anger is aimed at that which would harm His children. Again, even in the midst of violent actions, the ultimate motive here is always the protection of God’s children. God has not only the right to act in protection of His children, but the responsibility to do so, as well.

It should be mentioned that while God is always perfectly justified in His jealousy, humans may not be. Our motives are not always pure; not always just; not always holy. It is imperfect human action based on imperfect human jealousy that has given the word jealousy a widespread negative connotation in common usage. Truth be told, I wouldn’t recommend that you go out and tell the world at large that “jealousy is ok because it’s about protection,” because the word just isn’t understood to have that meaning outside of Biblical usage - not anymore, anyway. You would almost certainly find yourself on someone’s cancel list!